In reading about the saints, prophets, masters, gurus, and holy people of various religions and spiritual paths, one sometimes comes across accounts of the existential crises that many of these people have experienced.
Have you wondered how anyone whose spiritual state had elevated them to the status of “holy person” could possibly have struggled with their relationship with the Divine? Surely they were enlightened, after all. But the advent of enlightenment often brings about that dark time, just before clarity arrives. When one realizes that everything you have ever believed to be true, meaningful, and important is shown to be in need of questioning, of rethinking completely, and a total paradigm shift is necessary, it is intensely disorienting. And it is a sign that clarity is on its way, if you don’t reject the experience.
Most societal cultures teach us that a person of value is someone who strives for the best education, the pride of accomplishment, the honor of respect and even fame; that physical appearance (how you dress, if you are attractive physically, if you are fit and healthy) supposedly matters, that it’s important for you to fit in with peer groups, that you strive for a good career, and so on. We are raised from earliest childhood to believe absolutely that these things matter, and that the more you manifest them, the better person you are.
These days, certain popular preachers attract enormous followings by claiming that if you have much in the way of material things, it is a sign you are “favored by God”, even if you didn’t do anything particularly godly to obtain that wealth.
Beliefs are deeper than the conscious mind. Being brought up or inundated with certain conceptual paradigms instills them as realities that are not in the realm of being questionable to us. Some may even be completely illogical, and yet our consistent exposure to them makes them part of our essential belief system. Whatever we were taught, experienced and drew conclusions about, became so rock-solid that it does not even occur to us to define it, let alone question it. It is just “what’s so” for each of us, even though for each of is, “what’s so” is different.
We don’t even think to question who we are; it’s buried deep in the subconscious, and it defines our reality. It seems as solid as the existence of our bodies, of the pull of gravity, or the fact that day and night follow each other predictably. This is why, for instance, privileged people usually remain in their lofty social stratum, and underprivileged people, whose paradigm is quite different, tend to remain stuck in their lesser stratum; it is why some people believe they deserve a happy life and some do not; and so on.
We search for meaning and follow spiritual paths based on our subconscious concept of reality and of who we are. Anything that does not match that concept is automatically cast aside. And yet we keep hoping for a shift that heralds the possibility for a state of enlightenment. And it keeps not showing up, because we don’t realize how complete a shift it is, and we are unwilling to give it any hint of credence because it does not jive with who and what we believe we already are and what reality is.
Yet a few people do experience that shift, and when they do, they are thrown into an unfamiliar state that can be like an abyss so deep that it feels more profound than death. That’s because it is, literally. And one truly cannot expect enlightenment to occur without this shift. Some fear it with all their being. Others welcome it as freedom, which it truly is.
Fear is why we keep searching for easier paths. If one path leads up to that dark tunnel, we tend to abandon it and go elsewhere. Or we stick with a path that for years or for a lifetime goes nowhere but is easier than one that actually shows us a way forward. And forward means we can’t skip the tunnel. There is no way around it.
What can you do when suddenly everything you thought was true and important and real, isn’t? Will you give in to fear and step back, rejecting all that brought you there, and take a different path. Or will you stride boldly into it, knowing you will experience the most profound disorientation, that you will despair, that you will beg for mercy because everything you thought was true, unquestionable, and set in stone, is not real.
A few who don’t understand that this is part of the process don’t survive it on this physical plane. Others simply reject it and back out of it. But those who persevere are those who ask, “Then what is so?” The Guidance that results from that question will leave you in wonder and awe. How simple is the truth. How close it has been all along. How obvious once you know it.
What is so? That the measure of a person’s worth is their mere existence. That accomplishment and recognition are fine but are also just games we play for entertainment, to make our small lives seem meaningful. That true meaning is not in how much we accomplish but how much we love. That Love is not a feeling but a way of life that involves action. And that until we love all beings absolutely, we cannot be truly happy.
The Dark Night of the Soul is never out of reach of the light that shines at the end of the tunnel, but you have to go through the tunnel willingly in order to emerge on the other end, to walk out into the first real daylight you have ever seen.
Soul of Compassion 